Mofoism...
It was one year ago today that the illustrious religion of Mofoism skipped into an era of internet perfection. One full year of sexy memories and learning experiences have passed, but ten trillion similar years lay ahead waiting. But many do not understand the hardships which Mofasters have to endure in order to uphold Mofoism's high standards in their lives, and likewise, many do not understand how the amazing story of Mofoism began. It is now time to learn.
Mofoism began in the hearts of the Mofasters Senon y Trey late in the year of 2004. We both began to experience amazing and divine visions which showed us the true way, and we personally partook of the glorious Mountain Dew, which gave us our strength. It was several short weeks after this that I, Mofaster Trey, gave an important speech informing potential Mofoists of how awesome and massive Mofoism really was... One photograph of this monumentous event has survived, and the rest of been destroyed by jealous anti-Mofites...

It was not long after that event that Mofoism transferred itself to the internet, where it could reach the less fortunate beings of the entire universe. It was the vision of the Mofasters that Mofoism spread across the galaxy, enveloping all beings towards its mind control. And by mind control we mean happy paradise. But in order to spread such amazing sexiness, I have had to personally endure many hardships, including but not limited to: Meeting many famous celebrities, getting many free gifts and Mountain Dew, flying across the world in private jets, dictating over entire solar systems, being followed by a large harem of sexy women, winning countless Major League Baseball MVP's... Oh wait, that was Barry Bonds. I will divulge to you a few of the horrifying moments I have gone through in the past year...

Who could ever forget the time I spent kicking it with C-3PO, a protocol droid fluent in over six million forms of communication. Needless to say, he talked a lot, and my ears nearly exploded.

Or what about the time I spent with my friend and fellow Mofoist, Barry Bonds? It is very ahrd to stand in the presence of such a mighty force, and I was very hard-pressed to remain alive.

Another harrowing experience was the death-defying Quarterback Challenge where I went head to head with Michael Vick! His passes astonished me to the point of a heart attack, but luckily I drank some Dew and was alright.

And the darkest hour of my life... The day I had to become fashionable with a very cute hat. Ashley Olsen and Alyson Michalka then proceeded to dress me in things so horrifying that I can't even think of them, let alone take pictures and post them!

And of course, throughout the year, many vital life lessons have been imposed upon my Mofoul, and I have had to relay them in a convectious way which would please all. In this Moforld, this is difficult to do, but I have spent millions of seconds to insure that you receive your Moflessons, Moflessons that save your life every day, even if you do not realize it.

And I will leave you with one final message... A message by which you should model your life...

Do...

The...